W.C. Fields Quotes
No.	Quotation	Subject
1	Once during prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.	Abstinence
2	The most successful liar is the one who lies the least.	Lying
3	Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.	Alcohol
4	I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.	Alcohol
5	I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.	Voting
6	A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.	Cheating
7	After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.	Miscellaneous
8	Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.	Children
9	All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.	Miscellaneous
10	Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad	Miscellaneous

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