Erma Bombeck Quotes
No.	Quotation	Subject
1	Motherhood is the biggest on-the-job training scheme in the world.	Mother
2	If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead	Football
3	Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.  They are consumed in twelve minutes.  Half-times take twelve minutes.  This is not coincidence.	Football
4	People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman	Marriage
5	When humor goes, there goes civilization.	Humor
6	I am not a glutton — I am an explorer of food.	Food
7	The grass is always greener over the septic tank.	Opportunity
8	Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.	Doctors
9	I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.	Nutrition
10	Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.	Lending

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